February 14, 2008

...if everyone else jumped off a bridge...

the video is pretty simple. twisted. allows you to make up your own story. here's mine:

kanye west shows up to las vegas and decides to call a local woman he remembers having a really great "one night stand" with. she meets him at a casino where she helps him win over $230,000 at the craps table as the roller. excited, they both decide to call it a night, but not before hitting up mcdonald's off the strip for some chicken mcnuggets. the rude drive-thru attendant informs the couple that they are out of hot mustard dipping sauce, and that they can only give out the honey mustard sauce to customers who bought the chicken strips -- not the chicken mcnuggets.

kanye tells the young woman that he wants to take her to a hotel off the strip and closer to downtown so that they be away from the "hustle and bustle" of las vegas at 2am. she agrees and they hit up the golden spike. kanye, in his nicely tailored tuxedo opens the hotel room door only to find that they have a view of the construction site next door to the golden spike. kanye immediately gets on the phone with the front desk and asks to be moved. for a small fee, they would have gladly moved kanye, but he didn't want to spend the extra money.

they begin to have sex on the full size vibrating bed at the golden spike... but, rudely, kanye stops in the middle of sex and runs to his tuxedo pocket and pulls out a small notebook. he begins writing furiously. he starts mumbling a song. the woman walks very calmly to the bathroom and starts to put herself together. kanye ignores her. finally, after realizing that she's no longer naked and in his bed, he says, "what's wrong, baby?" she asks him to take her back to her apartment because she has work in the morning. upset, but anxious to get back to his song, kanye agrees and they head back to the car in the parking lot.

before getting into the car, kanye says, "i have a suprise for you." he goes into the trunk and pulls out a fur coat. "this is my girl's coat -- but, you can wear it on the drive home." she smiles. kanye turns to open her door. bang! she hits kanye in the back of the head with a cellphone. the cellphone's magnet disrupts the plate in kanye's head and renders him unconscious! she ties him up and jams him into the trunk.

kanye wakes up to blackness. the car is obviously moving and he can hear the woman in the front seat screaming, "you think you funny, muthuhfuckuh?! you can borrow my girl's fur coat for the drive?! $230,000 and you won't even upgrade my shit to honey mustard?! $230,000 and you can't spend $30 more to get us a room with a view in that shitty ass hotel?! okay! okay!"

kanye is still thinking about that song and wishes he had a free hand to write with.

the car comes to a hault.

it's 3am. no, seriously, it's 3am, and i'm high on coffee. forgive me for this...

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